Thappad - A true slap

2/28/2020

Almost three years later, I truly felt the need to express myself in words. Thappad, a hindi movie did push me here. About 15 days ago my partner shared the trailer of Thappad. I know Tapsee Pannu has been doing good movies but this was different. This trailer was hard hitting. I will probably use a lot of cliches in this blog but that's okay. Not many read this anyways. But the cliches are cliches for a reason and I use another cliche to justify myself for using them, I am an honest writer and when I use a word I truly mean it. Coming back to the story, after watching the trailer I told her, this is good we need to watch it. Not because it was shot well, not because the actors performed well but because the movie meant something very very important.

Women in India have been taught to adjust. Every mom teaches her daughter to adjust in case of a conflict. And this has been the most important advice given to a daughter by her mom after the marriage. Well, everyone has to adjust in life but in the patriarchal mother land of ours, women need to adjust more. And this is taught by none other than women themselves. This movie depicts it so well that every mom who taught this will feel the pain of a slap. Then, to the fathers. Every father wants his daughter to be happy but he does not think about his own spouse's father. They get slapped too albeit subtly but strongly. Being an innocent bystander when a crime is committed is still a crime even if the crime is a suicide. Well done director saab.

Then comes us. Indian Men. We take so many things for granted with a woman and respect is always an after thought. This movie was a very tight slap. And we have to expect a thappad too with what we do. This is not something to fight against. This is something to fight within to kill the patriarch inside. With our upbringing we did gain a mindset that is just not right but it becomes only a crime if we do not try to change after we get to know what is right and what is wrong. This movie can be a lesson to all of us. Sometimes a slap helps us wake up from the slumber. I hope this one does.

And finally the actress Tapsi Pannu. From Jhummandi Naadam to Thappad this, I think is the most transformation any actress could aim for. From being a glam doll showing her navel to titillate the viewers to depicting the character of a woman fighting for her respect, she has done it all. Thank you Tapsi ji. 

Sleep, Laziness and Trivikram

These are the three elements that have been with me from a long time. The third word in the sequence is a proper noun and hence may not be referable as an element but I will have to refer it so because of the reasons that follow.

Sleep, the relationship between us has to be defined as a romantic one. I refer to sleep as her as I do for most of the elements of the world. That introduction was one of the most unforgettable introductions of my life. She initially helped me get close to her and hence lose sight of the things that were boring. Then she made me like her so much that, I started ignoring things that were important as well. This tryst of mine with sleep started when I was a 11 year old student. Any time I tried to concentrate in class, she came to me. When I started studying she started her visit. I had to use an used refill to hit myself acutely to get away from sleep but I could not. So I gave her due and then went on to do what I planned to do later. Then, after my class X, she started abandoning me when I wanted her the most. I was in Hyderabad, in a dorm room along with 7 other students of class XI. We used to come to the room at 11:00 PM to retire for the day. We will be raised at 5:00 AM in the morning. So all in all we had just six hours to recuperate from the day's school activities and study hours. After an hour general discussions and fun, all my roommates used to go to bed by 12:00 AM or 1:00 AM at the latest. Then, I used to follow them and lie down on my bed inviting sleep to give me company. But, I do not know what went wrong, one night she did not come to me. Then it went on. I sometimes wondered how to sleep. What do I do to sleep? What is sleep? I used to lie down on my bed looking at all my friends who were sleeping peacefully. Then in the morning, when there were classes going on my sleep does not want to leave me at all. If there is something close to hell I have been through then it would this period of life where I wanted to study but could not, i wanted to sleep but could not. And I still do not know the reason for what happened then. In my B. tech, sleep came back to me and became a good friend but I was not able to stop her from disturbing me during the class hours. This particular issue between us still exists and I can sense her coming to me right now when I trying to articulate about my relationship with her.
2/28/2020 - This is unfinished and I am publishing it as is.

Random Thoughts

I have seen a ted talk on procrastination. It was great. That video kind of explained why I live the way I live. It was informative, imaginative and illustrative. But, did that video change anything in me? I do not think so. Even after 18 hours after watching that video, I am here writing this blog procrastinating. Actually I have planned to spend these hours in the evening to complete an advanced business intelligence assignment. I do not feel like doing it mainly because I do not feel like doing it. The reason is as ambiguous as the issue. And that ambiguity is the issue. But, while thinking about this issue of mine I have stumbled upon something great. Well ,not great but may be good. Hmm, may not even be good but reasonable. Keeping the qualification of the idea aside for the moment, let me get into the details.

I keep procrastinating and that should have been understood by now. I am an extremely good planner and at times feel that I should take up that planning as a profession because I am so good at it. Jokes apart, I have started planning in advance from my class X board exams and I still am doing it. Only to realize that I will be re-scheduling each plan with a probability of 0.998 or 998 times out of every 1000 times. But, during the last few days I have observed a pattern in my execution. I think I plan things based on my interest and I execute them based on my hatred in performing them. I am an unbelievable optimist while planning and an astonishing pessimist while executing. With my guilt building up, I do things that I hate less to escape the guilt of not doing things I hate more. Here, the word hate is used due to my dearth in vocabulary and not absolute hate towards that particular thing. This is only to say that I love doing somethings but do not actually do them until I have to do something that I may not like that much and hence in that case I do those things for which I did not have the will to do but wanted to do.

To instantiate, at this particular moment, my optimistic me wanted to do the advanced business intelligence assignment. My pessimistic me wants to watch a movie and then do the assignment when it is due or just before the deadline. There is a hidden optimism in the pessimistic side of my life. I know that I have accomplished many things doing just before the due date and hence I can pull through another such feat with a effort . However, this time I did not allow the pessimist to win, but still am not able to allow the optimist to win as well. But, I took the middle route and have come here to write a blog post. This I think is the change in me. I am doing the thing I wanted to from a long time but did not have the will till now. This could be wrong but adds less guilt to my giga bytes of guilt history. I hope this is the way things change for the good and I hope I will reach my optimistic self some time soon.

This was the ted talk that tried to change me but yeahh...That is how life izzzz.

https://www.ted.com/talks/tim_urban_inside_the_mind_of_a_master_procrastinator?language=en#t-353041

He was a passionate Rishi - A small Tribute to Mr. Kasinathuni Viswanath

November - 2014

On a cold winter afternoon during the winter break in Dallas, I was browsing the YOUTUBE to just pass time. One of the suggested videos had an old man in a dancing pose in the rain. Yes, this video is from the age old Telugu classic “SHANKARAABHARANAM”. At that particular moment I felt compelled to click on the video. The music, lyric and the action aroused a feeling that was close to ecstasy in my heart. This made me watch the video again. The thirst for that feeling rose furthermore and I was induced into watching the full movie. Although this was one of the best Telugu movies ever made, I did not have had the good fortune of watching this master piece till then. Although my thirst for the ecstatic feeling was not satiated, the film was a revelation. It revealed the passion of a director, an able, creative and sensible human being trying to convey his love for music and his view on the then societal structure in India. He was subtle in conveying a message and sublime in praising an art. He was an ardent fan of classical music and a faithful follower of various Indian dance forms. He was Dr. K Vishwanath, honorably known as “KALATAPASWI”, a sage who meditated on art.

March -2016

He was a great visionary and an even better story teller. Each of his films, I may be exaggerating here a bit but many of his films were so gripping that few people like me do not want to move forward. This blog post was started in 2014 November. Apart from noting my laziness, any one reading this can see that today, it is 2016, and I have resumed writing this blog just after watching another epic of his “SAAGARA SANGAMAM”. This is the third time I am seeing the movie in the last year and a half. I value time. I always feel bad when I waste time but watching these movies does not look like wasting time. I do not know if this is rational but when I cry along with Kamal Hassan, who was weeping, after dancing for his mother for the last time, I feel that ecstasy again. I may be an emotional person, but I know that the movie is a story and it did not happen. I know that Kamal was just acting and he was not actually crying, but I cry. I involuntarily feel the pain and then I reach that state where I feel like I am close to the something that can be conceived only when we are not just conscious but super conscious. That feeling does not last long and then slowly my thoughts confluence into thinking about the person who had the conviction, confidence and most important of all, the content in him to create these master pieces.

This capability of his does not look like an inborn talent. He was not a gifted lyricist like his own Sirivennela Seeta Rama Sastry, or an extremely talented singer like his close associate SP Balasubramanyam. This man not only had love for Indian art forms but also had a penchant for societal reforms. He was a master in interweaving the ancient Indian art with the modern reformist ideas. He was an ancient modernist. He wanted the change in bad retaining the good. All these words do not do justice to his work. I, with my limited vocabulary and expression am not competent enough to complement the completeness of Mr. Vishwanath. So after darting out 586 words, I came to a conclusion that I am not able to transform my thoughts into words. Here, in this situation I will have to tell about his greatness. There is always a transmission loss in any kind of transfer be it tangible goods or intangible ideas. But his efforts were such that even after transferring his feelings to his lyricists, singers, actors and editors where there was a possibility of information deformity at a minimum of four centers, he was able to bring out so many subtle emotions on screen. Every single time after watching his movies like SWARNA KAMALAM, SWATI KIRANAM ET all, I somehow cannot believe that those movies were not made by single person. I cannot digest the idea that some hundred people or so were involved on doling out an epic which had a single theme. This again brings me to the influence of that man on the entire crew of those movies. If he was not passionate he could never have done such movies. Hence I called him a passionate person. Then I took the freedom of using the Sanskrit word R

ishi, which was used to refer Mantra- Drashtas or the seers of mantra. The Vedic seers. Mr. K. Vishwanath was no doubt not a mantra drsahta, but he was a bhava drashta and a kala drashta and hence he can definitely be referred to as a Rishi. Thus came the title “He Was a Passionate Rishi.”

Writing a Blog

It has been 3 years since I have published a post in my blog. I am an ambitious starter, a great planner and a visionary trying to change this world. I have been thinking of publishing something or the other post on my blog for 3 years now. Did I do it? No. The reason- I was out of ideas at first and then I was out of the ink called resolve. I was not able to do what I wanted to all these days. Now, here I am writing a post again. This needed a lot of effort. I think I need more effort to start something than completing a thing that has already started. Anyhow, I am really happy to have taken this step again and as I am completing the first paragraph in me, the visionary in me started waking up.

                                                        http://epilepsyu.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/writing-with-pen.jpg

I have started the blog with a vision of expressing my ideas and thence improve the world. Does this sound idiotic? May be it does. But, this was the reason for my blog. Although I had an ulterior motive of gaining popularity and generating revenue from google, changing the world with my words was the primary reason for my blog. I tried doing that with my passionate article on Kashmir. The language was pretty mediocre but the feelings were real. No one followed me. Then I took up the case of Mr Gandhi and his philosophy. I have spent a lot of time reading about him, understanding his philosophy and applying it to the present day. I have done it in nearly 3000 words. This brought me no followers but instilled a bit of confidence in me.
After a year, I have become a writer intern in a website. Does this sound funny? May be it does. With my experience of two blog posts, I became a writer intern and few of my articles were even published in the website. Some of the articles those were not published in the website found a place in my blog. So, I had six blog posts in my blog. In this process, a couple of my friends started following me. I guess this gesture of theirs was more out of sympathy than empathy and belief in my writings.
Then after a small break of 4 months, I have published two more posts. One expressing my love for my under graduate college and the other expressing an unfortunate event that ended well. That was my last blog post. Reportedly I became busy or frankly I became lazy. Finally, after all these years, I have somehow gained the strength to write again. I may not have become a good writer or for that matter a better thinker but I have become older and hence a bit wiser hopefully.
So I have started with redesigning my blog page with a flashy template, a different name and a common caption. Here I am writing something about writing. Hope things will change and the visionary in me will be able to change this world…..

                                          http://sharetwenty.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/change_the_world.jpg

On That Friday

That was a Friday. It had been a week since I have joined TCS as an associate. The week went well with all the classes and the joining formalities. On that day everything started as per schedule and I started to the office with my bag which contained all my original certificates and the photocopies. Actually, there was no need of carrying the originals or even the photocopies for that matter, but I carried them for my safety. I, being a lazy person thought of leaving the certificates in room but I have changed my opinion as one of my friends warned me against that as that day was the last of my first week at TCS and it would be better if I carried them for the last time. This was indeed a trap which unfolded late in the day.

            There was nothing particularly significant on that day in the office and we left the office to our friend’s room as we have planned earlier. We discussed many things at his room, had a lot of fun and slept for some time. It was almost 7 pm when we started to our room. The bag was still with me and I got a call on the way. It was an important one with a lot of interesting information and hence grabbed all my attention. We got into the bus, my friends found seats but I was left alone standing. I gave away my bag to my friend and stood freely and continued my discussion on phone. After sometime I found a seat and  as I was still talking I did not take back my bag from my friend, in fact I was  so much involved in the discussion that I forgot my bag’s presence completely. During this process, my friends engaged themselves in some interesting conversation and literally forgot about my presence. It took some 15 minutes to reach our destination and finally I ended the call by that time.

            We were very hungry and so headed to our favorite restaurant before going to the room. One of my friend commented about the sweat on my back and that was when I came to know that there was no bag on my back. I was terrified and enquired about it with the other friend, to whom I have handed it over during the journey and to my horror he did not even remember that I gave a bag to him in the bus. I started to panic as there were all the important certificates along with my newly issued id card, my pan card and what not. Even my friends were equally bothered as they came to know about it and we were desperate to find the most precious thing of my life. Yes, it was the most precious thing in my life as it contained all my credentials and I was clever enough to leave nothing in the room, not even the photocopies.

            After this we started our retrieval plans, although we were panic-stricken none of us showed it but we were quick enough to catch the next bus. I consider myself as a fortunate person in those unfortunate circumstances as we had the ticket issued by the conductor of the bus in which we travelled. It was indeed a talisman for me. To add to my woes none of us knew Malayalam and only one among us could manage Tamil. We showed the ticket to the conductor of the present bus and somehow managed to explain about the incident. He was confused at first but later understood the problem and after carefully observing my talisman, told that both the previous bus and the present one belonged to the same depot, added to it that it was headed to the depot as that was its last trip and this bus was also going to the depot. This relieved some amount of tension but by that time my mind started thinking about the various processes involved in getting back the lost documents. I somehow had the knowledge that getting back the lost certificates was one of the most tedious tasks and if at all I failed in the pursuit of my bag I had to go through each and every process. We waited impatiently till we reached the bus depot. It took 20 minutes to reach our new destination, the KSRTC bus depot, Trivandrum.

            We got down as soon as we reached the depot and started searching for the bus. We met a good number of workers there and came to know that the bus we were so desperate to find hadn’t arrived till then. We explained the problem to the depot manager and he was kind enough to help us and comforted me saying that there were good chances of me getting back my bag. We waited for another ten minutes and during that short period we tried to trace out the name of the conductor and his mobile number. We were successful in knowing his name but unfortunately no one had his mobile number. These ten minutes really showed the hospitality and the helping nature of Keralites. Yes, they were very helpful and almost everyone was doing his bit to help me. After ten minutes the bus came and almost everyone in the depot were standing with us and the conductor of the bus got down with a black Belkin backpack in his hand. Yes, this was my bag. Thank god I have retrieved the most valuable thing in my life. The depot manager warned me about my callousness and asked me to be more careful from then on. Yes, it was purely due to my carelessness that all this happened and this experience taught me some of the greatest lessons of life and I thanked everyone who cared for my bag in the depot. Then slowly we walked out of the depot. I was so much relieved that I sat on the road with tears in my eyes. Then we took the bus back to our area, had a good dinner and then got back to the room. This unexpected incident turned that Friday, an unforgettable day.

After All, I am Proud to be A SASTRITE.......

It was April, 2007. I had completed my final +2 examinations and was busy preparing for various entrance tests that were going to be held by several prestigious institutions in the country. I consider myself a courageous person for selecting IIT’s, India’s most respected institutes of technology as my goal after successfully completing my class 10. Even though I was unaware of the competition, I felt I was destined to be in the nation’s premier institution for my standards. With all this in mind I started my preparation for IIT-JEE, AIEEE and other such examinations. Although I was a visionary at the initial stages, I slowly recognized my capabilities, strengths and more importantly weaknesses which made me more of a realist than a visionary in the later stages of the Intermediate course. These revelations were instrumental in helping me believe that it would be very difficult for me to get through JEE and so I started my preparation more on the lines of AIEEE and was pretty confident of getting a good rank in the all India level. As I was seriously preparing for that exam, I came to know about a university in Tamil Nadu which was admitting the students based on their +2 marks and more importantly it was in the top hundred engineering colleges’ list. The name of the university was SASTRA University located at Thanjavur.

Though I was preparing well for the competitive exams, some part of my brain was eagerly waiting for the results of my +2 examinations after coming to know about such a generous and at the same time good university. This was not due to lack confidence but having an alternative always comforts human beings and I was no different. The results were out and I had scored well and that implied that there was an option of me getting into Sastra even if I could not crack the AIEEE, but this assurance helped me work more freely and so I was able to take the test with more confidence and I did pretty well in the examination also. Finally when the results were out even though I got a respectable rank, I came to know that it would not help me to get a seat in the NIT’s and it could only get an admission into a university like Sastra. That was it and I firmly made up my mind to join Sastra University based on my +2 marks. I was quick on applying for the same and somehow got into ECE department, SASTRA University, although it was nearly the last seat in the department. Not to mention, the total fee to be paid was almost equal to the amount that could be sufficient for 2 students to pursue B.Tech in a normal engineering college.

All the engineering colleges were starting classes either in late July or early August but Sastra started the classes for the first years in late June. That was indeed a shock as I had other thoughts of enjoying the holidays, which unfortunately became too few. I reluctantly started to the college. I had some expectations about an engineering college and I was very eager to know whether my college would stand up to my expectations. I did not know whether the expectations were wrong or the college was not up to the mark but I had started off with a slight disappointment. The college was ragging free and it was literally as there were no serious ragging sessions and we, the freshmen felt secured. The hostel was livable but, it was definitely not a luxury. The food was hygienic and that was the only positive quality one could find in it. I have to be fair here in mentioning that there were some good days when we had tasty food but mind you those days were too few.  Then the academic course structure started to take its toll on us. There were some really strict professors and the marks became scantier as the semester came to the end. The end semester was not that difficult and we got through it relatively easily. Finally coming to the results, here Sastra should be lauded for the consistency in the process of evaluation and it was as good as any university in the country. Coming to the end semester holidays, they were also too few. This made me feel like to be in Sastra for four years would be an achievement in itself. Then in the even semester we had the Daksh, national level tech fest and the only thing that caught my attention was the Robot race which was indeed eye catching. Later I came to know that the path laid for that particular event was the biggest of its kind in Asia and this struck a chord with in me to regard Sastra as something in the technical arena rather than nothing. Then there was KurukSastra, a cultural fest that attracted many participants from Tamil Nadu and it was good.

Electronics and communication department at Sastra has had a special importance as it was not only the most sought after dept but also the toughest course in the university. Though the course structure was a reason, the professors and their methods made it the toughest. There were assignments, a lot of them and fortunately we needed little effort as we were better copiers than the photo copy machine itself. Apart from these we had the lab sessions with some stringent and at times senseless rules which made the life harder and never forget the saga of the khakhi dress. The labs at the outset looked easier on condition that the staff was good, but every end semester practical was a battle and if the external was someone like the dean then they would be the most violent battles one could ever conceive. Then coming to the rules and regulations at the hostels, they were the most any hostel can have and we, were the most patient inmates for following them and living accordingly as that needed the perseverance of a saint. These rules increased when there was an unfortunate mishap and frankly those were the most testing conditions to live as a free human being.

The happiest time one had on campus was undoubtedly the weekends and during the fests, if you get involved. The tech fest and the cultural fest were the best platforms to interact with friends and more importantly juniors and I was lucky to get into my university’s cultural team in the final year. We had a fantastic time visiting the VIT University and our joy knew no bounds after winning the overall title. It was the time spent with the team that was more satisfying than the victory. This achievement had another advantage for us, Team Telugu lits, as it confirmed our permanence on campus. This rejuvenated us and it was our turn to conduct our cultural fest and hence the preparation started. This was indeed one of the best moments of my college life, as I had some very special moments with my dearest friends which if I start describing here will make this elongated article, a short novel. This was the time I got to know some of my junior friends who were too good and it is due to them that I want to visit Sastra if I get a chance now. The time spent then was indeed something unforgettable and a total description of that is also not feasible here and now.

 Then we come to the final frontier, our placements. It was a known fact that the placement record of Sastra University was good and TCS was the main employer, but we never expected that TCS, India’s best IT services company would rope in 1359 candidates from Sastra itself. This came as a pleasant surprise and almost everyone of our batch were placed in due course of time and we were a happy bunch getting out of the college. After passing out in May, 2011, I have joined TCS in July and there was another pleasant surprise waiting for me there. I came to know that we were given Engineering services as our horizontal and not the IT services. This was something special because the apprehension of studying something and working in some other stream was bothering me to an extent and this unexpected gesture of TCS made me more grateful to Sastra. Yet another surprise to us was that the 25^th convocation at Sastra was presided over by none other than Dr A P J Abdul Kalam, the former president of India. He was nothing short of awesome in his speech and everyone in the meeting was inspired by his words. I feel lucky to be there and it was due to Sastra that it was possible for me to see such a great personality and draw inspiration from.  

 Then I have learnt that Sastraites were among the respected lot in TCS because of their capability to work harder. I heard one of my seniors saying that the work in TCS is far less difficult compared to the torture we undergo as an ECE student at Sastra and I feel it is true. I owe a lot to the college as they taught us the way to work and work well.I may not be an IITian, I might not have been placed in Google but I am proud to be a Sastraite for making me what I am. I would like to end this long essay saying something which I never intended to say when I was in the college, I Love You SASTRA……………